I Want My Boyfriend Back But I Don't Know If He Really Cares

Published: 12th February 2010
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I want my boyfriend back but I can't tell how he really feels. One day he wants me, the next day he won't even take my phone call. Are you in this situation? If you are experiencing a similar problem read on and learn what happened to Paula when this happened to her.

Paula's Story

My boyfriend Terry dumped me after we had been together for six months. I was really in love and I thought Terry loved me too. There were no warning signs to indicate that he might be thinking of ending our relationship. One day out of the blue he said we were finished. He dumped me without any warning.

I cried and begged him not to leave me, my heart was breaking. I did everything I could think of to get my boyfriend to come back to me. I called him several times a day. When he didn't answer my calls, I sent text messages to let him know I still loved him and wanted him back. This went on for weeks, but I didn't hear from Terry.

When I took some advice, I found out that this was exactly the opposite of how I should be behaving. So, I followed the advice I received and stopped trying to contact my ex boyfriend. I was just starting to feel that I was getting over the pain of breaking up, when my ex boyfriend phoned me. We talked on the phone for nearly 45 minutes and it felt as if there had never been a hitch in the relationship. I went over to his house and it was as if we had never split from each other. I still loved him deeply and I thought he felt the same about me. I stayed the night.

Terry didn't call me but I kept waiting and hoping. Eventually, I tried calling him but he didn't answer his phone. I have heard nothing from my ex boyfriend for a whole week now. I thought we had got back together. I want my boyfriend back, but I can't tell if he wants to get back with me. I am so confused and hurt.

This is the point where Paula decided to get some help to deal with her relationship with her ex boyfriend.

Paula made a big mistake. She misread her ex boyfriend's motives. She is still in love with him and assumed his advances meant that he still loved her. We can't know what was in Terry's heart that night. What we can see is that Terry's behaviour towards Paula since then is not that of somebody in love. If he loved Paula,he wouldn't be ignoring her after their night together.

Getting the phone call she had dreamed about caused Paula to behave in totally the wrong manner. She should have kept this first communication to a brief conversation. She should have been sociable but she should have kept her real feelings hidden. She should not have rushed over to her ex boyfriend's house after one phone call. By doing this, she has shown her ex it doesn't matter how badly he behaves. She has given him the power to manipulate her and he has used it.

This is a hard lesson for anyone to learn. Paula's self respect has never been at such a low ebb. She feels humiliated. The anguish of losing her boyfriend had been reawakened. She now has to face the fact that her ex boyfriend doesn't want to get back with her. She has to face the sad idea that he might not have really loved her and was using her from the beginning.

Regrettably, Paula reacted instinctively rather than logically. When she received an unexpected call from her ex boyfriend, she forgot all about pride and self esteem. She should have given herself a breathing space to get over the surprise of hearing from him. She should have arranged a meeting for a later date on neutral territory. She should not have gone running straight over to his home. If Paula had known the rules to follow, she would not have made those mistakes. If she had taken expert advice, she would have known that the first rule of getting back with your ex is "Don't try to rush things".


If you are thinking "I want my boyfriend back", remember that rushing into reconciliation is dangerous. Play safe and take things slowly. Find out if your ex boyfriend wants you back before things go too far.

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